Men are like diamonds....

There's an old saying that goes "men are like diamonds... they should be big, cut and wrapped around your finger".

When we shop for a rock; as our engagement ring, that special pair of earrings you promised yourself when you won that promotion, or just a little bit of bling; we look for the 4 C's: carats, clarity, colour and cut. The bigger, the more brilliant, the better.

A good friend of mine has recently found herself slipping longingly, deliciously headfirst into a giddying and intoxicating relationship. While I'm green with envy, remembering those butterflies ravishing their jack hammers in your stomach and the long, intense kisses that last forever, her slide into relationship bliss got me thinking that solid relationships, like flawless diamonds, are hard to find. Hard, but not impossible.

You see, these elusive good relationships, like perfect diamonds, also need to pass the 4 C's test: chemistry, communication, compromise, and committment. The bigger and more brilliant these factors are, the better the craftsmanship, the better your relationship.

It is well known that all else being equal, the value of a diamond increases exponentially in relation to carat weight, since larger diamonds are both rarer and more desirable for use as gemstones. Same as with a new relationship- that magnetism, the je ne sais quoi that exists, is the first, and most vital ingredient to a special relationship- it's gotta have chemistry. And that chemistry has gotta be strong. All else being equal, he could be the most perfect man on paper, but if that element is missing, the relationship flame, will never combust.

Clarity, when assessing a diamond, is a measure of internal defects of a diamond which are called inclusions. These may be crystals of a foreign material or another diamond crystal, or structural imperfections such as tiny cracks that can appear whitish or cloudy. The number, size, color, relative location, orientation, and visibility of inclusions can all affect the relative clarity of a diamond. Conversely, good communication, quality communication in a relationship can help prevent these cracks from forming and can work miracles to repair them when the fissures appear. Good and effective communication involves talking and listening, and is your gauge of the internal defects that appear at times in your relationship. Therefore, communication and the ability to empathise and understand your partner's position can affect the relative clarity or direction of your relationship.

A chemically pure and structurally perfect diamond is perfectly transparent with no hue, or color. However, in reality, just like any relationship, almost no gem-sized natural diamonds are absolutely perfect. The color of a diamond may be affected by chemical impurities and/or structural defects in the crystal lattice. Depending on the hue and intensity of a diamond's coloration, a diamond's color can either detract from or enhance its value. Similiarly, compromise, that push and pull that we all face and struggle with at times, may be affected by impurities. The impurities that come when we feel we have compromised ourselves too much, or our partner, not enough. If a perfect diamond doesn't exist, then it's important to remember that neither does the perfect relationship. All relationships struggle to maintain that balance between too much and too little.

Diamond cutting is the art and science of creating a gem-quality diamond out of mined rough. The cut of a diamond describes the manner in which a diamond has been shaped and polished from its beginning form as a rough stone to its final gem proportions. The cut of a diamond defines the quality of workmanship. The cut of a diamond then, is the committment to a relationship and the committment within a relationship; the 4th C. Committment is the determined and constant toiling, the fine balance and blend of art and science. It is the deal sealer, the forsaking of all others. The illustration of the quality of the workmanship.

So, I guess we can all live in hope of finding our diamond in the rough and carving from it, a perfect flawless gem. Remembering all the while that it takes the fine blend of chemistry, communication, compromise, and committment.

She's cut and run!

I don't quite know how to put this. And I definitely don't quite know how to cope. For the first time in my life, I'm experiencing some form of separation anxiety. Quiet heart palpitations... a choking in the throat which leads to excess swallowing... a slight tension that has settled around my neck and shoulders... and a nervous look has appeared on my face as if I don't quite know how to face the future and I'm scared of what's around the corner.

Yes, that's correct. My hair dresser is leaving. The person who has lovingly coiffed, styled, washed and nourished my locks for close to the past three years, has taken a post overseas to further her career. Hello? What about me! (It isn't fair, I've had enough now I want my share...).
You know, I've had others in the past, sure, but, for once, this is the one person who truly gets me. And my hair. And I don't know where I go from here- I don't know who I can turn to.

A good hairdresser makes the world of difference- they are someone you trust, someone who greets you by name, compliments you on your appearance (even if you look and feel disgusting). They rub their hands through your hair, even when you know you've put off washing it those past few days, stretching it out until the day you get it cut. They know when to talk, when to stay quiet, when you need that extra 2 minutes of head massage, they know just how many foils to put in without making you look like a zebra, or worse, a washed out clone. My hairdresser was all of that.

And I should know, I've had my fair share of bad ones. When I was younger, and poorer (OK, a uni student living in a share house), I went to a budget hairdresser for a trim. You know, the kind of place where they don't even bother to wash your hair, they just spray some water on it from a squirty bottle. Ugh, it makes me shudder to think about it. Anyway, the charming hairdresser who tended my locks that day, picked up the ends of them, held them out as if it were a plagued rat, and sniffed "oh my god, your hair is so dry, I'm not even going to go there". And I thought, "love, that's exactly why you're working in a place that charges $10 for a hair cut".!

So, an era of my life is over, and I'm sure I'll have to go through much pain again, before I find another keeper. Because that's what good hairdressers are; like good men, they're hard to find. And once you do, you hang on to 'em and never let 'em go!